I was standing at the bus stop, and I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was a pink balloon. It bounced down the street, guided by the wind. It passed me by, turned the corner, and disappeared. It had appeared out of no where and vanished just as quickly. I was tempted to peak around the corner to be certain that it had even existed. I wondered if happiness was like that balloon.

I never know I’m happy until I’m already happy. It sneaks up on me, like an epiphany, a revelation. I am aware of it when it reaches it peak, but I don’t quite know when it began. It’s like realizing that you’re laughing when you hear your own laughter. It probably started as a smile, that led to a grin, that eventually erupted in laughter. You often don’t realize that you’re smiling or grinning, but you can’t deny the sound of your own laughter. In the same way, a moment of happiness can suddenly sneak up on you. You suddenly become aware of its presence.

There are times when I walk through my front door after a long day of work, and as I enter the calmness of my empty home, I find happiness. There are moments during praise and worship at church—when the right song is played at the right time— that I find happiness. There are moments in the middle of a conversation, when I feel deeply connected to the person I’m speaking to, and I find happiness. Happiness is like a guest that enters without knocking and appears in your living room. In the same manner, it tiptoes out the back door without you noticing.

A lack of happiness, some may call it sadness, is usually a jarring feeling to me. It’s like I’ve looked up from the book I was reading, only to realize that happiness has left the room. I almost want to physically look around to see if I can find it.

• It’s like a relationship where you suddenly realize that your partner is a stranger to you. It didn’t happen overnight. You just suddenly became aware of it.
• It’s like that morning when you can’t get out of bed because you’ve burned out. All of your energy didn’t dissipate overnight. Your energy tank was steadily depleting, but you just became aware of it.
• It’s when you stop to question whether you’re on the right path in life. You’re not quite sure where you took a wrong turn. You just notice that you’re in an unfamiliar place.

Just like the pink balloon, happiness comes out of nowhere, and we welcome it. And before you know it, it’s out of sight. It’s like trying to hold water or catch a bubble without popping it. It cannot be manipulated by human hands: it’s meant to be admired. I think I’m learning that happiness truly is fleeting, and that’s okay.

Joy, gratitude, and moments of awe will sustain me until happiness comes around again.

I truly believe that finding joy in the Lord is a believer’s source of strength. The Lord is immutable; therefore, He is a consistent source of strength. I also make a conscious effort to find gratitude in the smallest things: the ability to walk, the fact that I can pay my bills, living in a time period when most people are just a phone call away. And I have recently tried to find awe in mundane situations. As a medical researcher, I am in awe of the complexities of the human body, and I view the sciences as God’s choice to share his creative blueprints with us.

So, anytime happiness wants to grace me with its presence, my hope is that I’m sensitive enough to be aware of it and wise enough to appreciate its transient nature.